The Ruminator

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Thursday, March 20, 2003

What a Wonderful World

So the war has finally started, and I have the urge to purchase a bottle of malt whiskey and a nice soft blanket, and spend some time curled up in a ball.

Leaving the more intelligent analysis of the situation to Doug and Beth, and on the principle that in times of trouble, opportunities to laugh should be seized with both hands, I bring you the news that America decided to attack Iraq because Bush was scared Saddam would figure out how to utilise technology from a crashed alien spaceship.

It seems that a UFO crashed in Iraq in 1998. Since then top American secret agents have been worried that Iraq will reverse engineer the alien technology to build their own spaceships and weapons. But apparently not very many of them have been worried since you need MK Ultra clearance to be told about alien technology, and not even the President has that. George Bush junior only knows because his daddy used to be head of the CIA. Nonetheless UFO watcher ‘Bre’ in Wellington knows all about it.

Hell, it’s almost as convincing an argument as any other I have heard for war.

And as if the world was not already a frightening enough place, it seems that Pauline Hanson chose the first day of war to start recording an album.

For her first step into the world of music stardom, she chose to cover the classic What a Wonderful World. I have heard this song performed with beautiful depth of emotion by two great artists – Louis Armstrong, and Rowlf, the piano-playing dog from The Muppets. Why couldn’t she choose something else? Redneck Wonderland, for example.

In a move of almost unimaginable cruelty, Hanson urged voters to keep her in politics rather than pursuing a full-time singing career. What kind of a sick choice is that? Vote for me or I’ll keep singing. The Australian reports that Hanson ‘missed the start, was hopelessly out of tune and didn’t get within cooee of the high notes’. It was, in her words, ‘worse than when I gave my immigration policy speech’.

I was trying to decide whether the woman would do more damage in politics or music. At first I thought politics was the clear winner, but then I wasn’t so sure. After all she wasn’t in any danger of running the country, instead she was spreading hatred and misery throughout the land. And the problem is she could do the same thing by singing. Ultimately though, I still think she is more dangerous in politics. She gets more publicity that way. And while she may get media coverage of the fact that she is singing, by the sounds of it not many outlets will be rushing out to play the recording itself.

We live in hope.


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