Lessons learned, weekend 9-10 April

Scenario:
A work friend has invited you to spend the weekend in a NSW town with friends of hers and her husband. Let’s face it, they’re setting you up.

Important questions to ask first:
1. Is the fact you are being set up known by, not only the guy in question, but all the other guys there?
2. Will the day’s drinking commence at 10 am?
3. Will the weekend’s activities consist of spending seven hours (no exaggeration) in the RSL, drinking continuously and betting on horses?
4. Will another guy in the group think it appropriate to compliment your ‘nice pair’ and repeatedly invite you to “get nuuuude”?
5. Will the guy you are being set up with be so traumatised by your friend’s husband announcing to the group, despite the fact that you've barely spoken to each other, that the two of you “are gonna go home, they’re gonna go home, an’ make love, ‘s gonna be beau’ful”, that he stays as far away from you as possible?
6. Will a drunk, fat, hairy man wearing only a tiny pair of red jocks make repeated attempts to get into your bedroom to find somewhere to sleep?
7. Will the group, having ceased drinking at around 5.30 am, commence drinking again at 9 am?

If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, DON’T GO!