The Ruminator

Come on up and grab yourself a beer.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Lessons learned, weekend 16-17 April

A friend has invited you to join her evening of fun with friends of hers you don’t know. They are going on the Moonlight Bus, a double-decker bus that takes you around pubs and clubs, with free alcohol on the bus and cheap alcohol at all venues.

Important tips:
1. Face it Marissa, you are far too old for the Moonlight Bus.
2. See point 1.
3. Re. points 1 and 2, 18-year-old guys now look to you as if they are 12.
4. Re. point 3, you probably won’t feel sexy in a Demi Moore kind of a way when one of these pre-pubescent Casanovas stumbles, stares, and mumbles, “you’re a really hot chick”.
5. When a spilled drink causes you to slip over on the dance floor, slamming both shins into the floor and causing considerable and lasting bruising, your companions are by this time too drunk to notice that you are kneeling in stale beer with tears of pain streaming down your face. This is a bit depressing.
6. If attempting to address points 1 through 5 with the excessive consumption of alcohol, be prepared to wake up the next morning to the consequences of some fairly uncharacteristic behaviour.
7. See point 1.


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