Whiskers on kittens

Guns, drugs, cash and an ornamental cat collection were stolen in the house robbery at Campania, north of Hobart, on Saturday, Hobart Magistrates' Court heard.

This sentence wins my award for most amusing news report of the day.

For those out of the loop, after stealing the above diverse items, a couple holed up in a suburban home and kept police at bay for three days, during time which they fired shots and threatened to detonate a bomb.

I just love the mental picture this brings to mind: Look, you can take the semi-automatics, they’re yours. The smack? Fine, fine, I’ve been trying to quit anyway. Have a suitcase full of money while you’re at it. But for the love of god! Just leave the Franklin Mint collection! Do you realise how much time I had to spend on eBay to get that collection? Have you no soul?